That's Mrs Elijah to you! Post #5

It's been a while since I have put up an entry.   It took a while for me to recover from the experience in my last blog.     For those of you who did not read it,   check out my blog Post #4, a Refiners fire.     For those of you who did read it,   thank you for your words of encouragement through, Facebook, Twitter, Hotmail, Texts and other electronic means.

 Thank you for your calls, and prayers.  Thank you for all of the packages sent from around the world.   Big Ups to my friends in France, Czech, Canada, of course the US and Costa Rica. Thanks for the health books, the encouragement books, the Bibles, the teddy bears, the donations, the scriptures, the hugs.    Thank you. I am truly grateful and humbled.
Thank you for all of the packages sent.   I loved the teddy bears and books.  Thank you for your donations, the scriptures, the hugs.   I am truly humbled and appreciative.  Please keep reaching out.   I need the love.  welovejuneapril.com

Well, life continues......

I was locked out of the house, when I first started writing this blog entry. Somehow I left my keys somewhere and I had  to wait to be let in.      Sooo.... I just found the nearest Starbucks in Downtown San Diego,sat there enjoying the gift of WIFI signals and caught my breath.    I don't drink coffee, or lattes,  but I appreciate that reliable signal.   Holla!   I have learned not to stress on the small stuff.   I don't have much money so I can't spend any.     I thought I would be at the apartment , in about an hour.     It ended up being more like two hours.   San Diego gets cold at night.  That was my only concern.   Not dressed for night air.

Good News...... I got some blood work this week and the doctor said that it was impeccable.  Those were his words.   So my organs are intact.    Hallelujah.     Great News.    I am still waiting on my cancer markers but that is good news.   This cancer must be kept in check,   so I must always be on task.     I am almost finished with treatments and I will be going home, leaving San Diego, (music)" Back to life, Back to reality".     Of course,    I have to come back for follow ups and all that good stuff and I have some take home medications.I will be watched closely.  All expected.

I began receiving training on all the medication I would take home.     All the scheduling of pills, augh, the shots, the IV's the works. I am outta here baby.      I am all smiles.     One glitch though.

The new pretty lady doctor, did not order the correct cancer marker tests for my blood work when I first got here 2 months ago in April.    I have to wait for the comparison of my blood work from May to June for the Cancer markers and see what they are.    I do have the results from my CT scan and so far it's okay. The cancer seems to be stable. Amen. AMEN, AND really AMEN.

This week was mentally rough. Yet another tough test. The take home medicine that they want me to do is really, REALLY, expensive.   When they told me the cost,  I'm talking three zeros, behind the number seventeen..........yes that much.... Stress began to set in quickly. It seems like everybody around me in the clinic has money. I hear conversations about yachts, vacations in Hawaii, Trips to Argentina, Japan.   Everyone else around me has their medication home packages in their hands walking out the door. Why me Lord, when I am going to get a break.    I was cool in front of the Financial administrator, but on the train ride, in the apartment, in my bed, I just cried and cried. I called my pastor/friend Pastor Phil and he prayed with me. I call my singing, sister in Christ, Angela Bryant Brown and she prayed with me and encouraged me. Sherilyn and i got on our knees and prayed again. I don't have that money anywhere. That's why welovejuneapril.com exists. I NEED HELP Y'ALL. I was in the bed from 3pm in the afternoon and prayed to God.    But, I was so frustrated. Yet, another mountain to climb.   I would like to have at least one plateau and chill for a while but this is not how God wants it for me.  I guess.

ELIJAH

I think i am like Elijah in the Bible, I have seen fire come down from heaven in regard to miracles in my life yet, I still don't have complete faith and I worry that God will not bring me through the present humanly impossible obstacles in my life, like he has in the past. When the Jezebel of a problem arises, I still run and panic. I still look to myself to solve all my dilemmas and when I run out of steam or options, I start buggin out.  I  become so many negative things, depressed, suicidal thoughts arise, physical pain in my head and body surface. involuntary sweats, wet pillows flowing with tears and hopelessness.

Well, I was in and out of sleep and frustration and worry all afternoon and into the evening. What a drag! High stress. I could not eat, my eyes swollen.    Pastor Phil told me "June, you better not worry anymore after we pray". You have not choice but to trust God. What else can you do?

So I prayed again, "Lord, please bless this mustard seed of faith that I have" I believe you can handle this situation.    Again, after being at the Rubidoux Church, in Riverside, CA. (check blog post#4) I have learned that you must speak and walk faith even when you are afraid and have no idea how things are going to work out. That's hard,  but, It must be done.

My sister Stacy, Dr Moore

My sister, Stacy came to San Diego, to meet the doctor with me, the following morning. She also is a doctor in family medicine.  Dr. Karen Stacy Gardner Moore.  I just love her so much.   She flew in from Alabama to have this meeting. I am so thankful for her.    She is the closest thing to a guardian, mother that I have and she is also a friend.   She flew in on a red eye and arrived at 2am in the morning.   My meeting with my doctor was at 8:00am,  6 hours later.    I decided that I was not going to go.  I did not want to be in that stressful environment.  That's it. I'M NOT GOING!  I am not going to the doctors final meeting........ YEAH, RIGHT, By the time daylight came, Stacy was in full swing and I in autopilot,  I followed behind her. Off to the doctor we go.
The doctor was running late, so Stacy got to meet the nurses and the other doctors on the floor, to find out what my treatments were like for the past two months. She seemed happy but still had medical questions for the doctor. As a doc, she knows all of the medical terms.  If it was a music convention I would know a little somethin, somethin, (smile) but medical terms, ya might as well speak in the calls of the wild Wildabeasts of the Congo.   I might understand that a little better. (OOH, OOH, AHH, AHH)   welovejuneapril.com

The doctor finally arrives and summons us to his office. Two doctors, myself and My sister, Dr Karen Moore are in the room and the discussion begins. Charts are out. My big file is out. Whew, I am nerved. All seated, the head doctor begins,

"June, you are the healthiest, sick person I have ever met." he says.

Huh? I'm thinking.... My stress bubble is confused.   I was ready for the worst.

What!......I'm thinking again.........the stress slowly begins to pay attention.

"Here is your blood work.  It looks fine"  "Your liver fine, your kidneys are fine" says the doctor.

"The cancer seems to be stable. We are waiting for the results of your cancer markers to see where you are there. you are walking around her stronger than everybody"

I began tapping my foot on the ground,  Nervous energy.  I did not know what else to do.... Can it be?
Stay cool.

Stacy then begins to ask all of the nitty gritty questions, asking about  this and that. She inquires about what this number means, what that number means.   She asks about how I am feeling and what we can predict in the future.   I cannot talk at all. Everyone who knows me, knows that I can talk. (no commentary)   :)  This time,  I was frozen.

My WBC, RBC, IRON, HEMOGLOBIN, don't check my spelling, the doctor was very pleased with.
And some other blood marker stuff was great.
He wishes to continue his chemo treatments and some other treatments that are on the cutting edge    for my condition.  I agree.

Then,  he takes out a yellow highlighter, and draws a line down my entire take home medication page packet inventory form.    Yes, the Expensive page.

The doctor continues..   "This page of medication is what I would have suggested, without this treatment.  He is pointing to the page.   "This treatment is working for you."  "Ahhh....You will not need all of this."   "Two-thirds of these take home treatments I suggested, you will not need"  says the doctor...

Silence.................Huh?........I'm not hearing right....Yesterday..........didn't the financial guy say................what about the bill?...........

Now, I talk for the first time  "Doctor,  I need for you to say that again"

With his Spanish American accent he replies "Jun, oh Jun, I hear you are going to stay in San Diego a little longer,  I know you are singing here.  I will come to the concert.  Come back to the clinic and do the treatments here and we can continue on the payment plan that we did before.   welovejuneapril.com

Words cannot express how I feeling at that moment now.  Overjoyed, Praising God, Balloon of stress deflated, God has made a way out of no way. I will be able to continue my needed treatments. I am soo blessed. Stacy was happy too. We just basked in God's blessing knowing that he answered our prayer.   Stacy's prayer was "Lord, please soften the hearts of the doctors, Amen"   Wow, God can really answers prayer. Sometimes you need to know that God exists. Not in a corporate way, or what you hear preachers preach, or what you heard your momma, daddy say. . But in a real personal way. I can say that God exists. It is a personal fact. I know that was of an none of my might.   I was giving up.   I was Mrs. Elijah.  I lost my belief.  There was no way out of this dilemma in my human limited mind.

Stacy and I are still working on my exit strategy because, I miss Jada so much.   I have not seen her since the WeLoveJuneApril concert in Atlanta, GA, April 28, 2012.    I see her frequently on Skype but to hold her in my arms again is a cherished desire and hope,  that will happen soon. I can't wait for that perfect moment of bliss when I see my baby daughter, Jada Kristina again. She is with my sister Dana now. She just showed me her back flips on Skype.  Her two feet landing on the floor.   I Just love it.   Family taking care of family. What a blessing.

I sang at the Thirty-First Street SDA Church in San Diego, CA this weekend.   This time,  I was not as afraid of speaking, as I was at Mt. Rubidoux Church in Riverside, CA.     I shared my grief of the night before,  and my meeting with the doctors the following morning, with the congregation,  before I sang.   The church cried and rejoiced with me.  What a wonderful church.    It is so wonderful, I am learning, share your testimony, your failures, your strengths, your lack of faith, your mustard seeds and mountains of FAITH with others. The blessing of being a witness others is unmatched.  Thank you Jesus, I believe in you.

For those of us that need a refresher course on Elijah click this link for the story.
THE STORY OF ELIJAH  ELIJAH/juneapril panics and runs.

He saw God's blessing and what he did before and then ran for his life when Jezebel the evil queen was after him.  This was his obstacle.  She musta been real serious.

Peace, Love and God bless,

Please continue to donate if you can.   Thank you for all of your support and love.
welovejuneapril.com
June April